Good news!

I've started volunteering at the Vet office this past week. I'm having a blast with it! There is this one little kitten who is up for adoption... it is the cutest thing ever!! I wish I could take it home, but my mom would kill me!

P.S. This is a test entry... having technical difficulties with my journal

Excited!

As of right now, I am no longer depressed about going off to college. I am actually more anxious to get out of here and start living a new life. My parents have become more protective... so as a result, I try to get out as much as humanly possible!!!
I had orientation last week. I have all my classes scheduled. I'm getting a loft from a friend of my parent's whose daughter no longer uses hers. This is great! Emmy and I need to start putting the room together!

On a more personal note, I have been troubled the past few days. I have always thought of myself as the affectionate type... like being there for people... blah blah blah. But I never realized that it got on people's nerves until just recently. I apologize to those who I bother and probably even dislike me for it. For now on, I'll just resort to my old self: shy, withdrawn from everyone, very quite... I think I liked myself better that way.
And another thing... I also recently found out some info on an old flame/friend that I almost wish I didn't know. But unfortunately, I am glad that I do know this info. Even though this info has caused me to think very much less of him, I know what kind of a person he truly is. A womanizer, liar, deceitful, persuasive (in a very bad way).... I can go on forever. I wish I knew this info before we had our fling. I don't think I can ever trust him again.

something fun I saw.. to pass time

I was bored....

:x: name = Virginia Poorbaugh
:x: piercings = ears
:x: tattoos = no.... but hopefully soon
:x: height= five feet 4 inches?
:x: shoe size = 8 to 9 (depends on shoe)
:x: hair color = brown with blonde highlights
:x: siblings = one sister, one bro-in-law, and one father who acts like he's six

LAST...
:x: movie you rented = gee... good question... everyone else rents them
:x: movie you bought = me... buy anything!!!???
:x: song you listened to = something by Motzart
:x: song that was stuck in your head = something by Lifehouse
:x: cd you bought = Three Days Grace
:x: cd you listened to = Mozart Symp. No. 40 and 41
:x: person you've called = whitney
:x: person that's called you = Mom (asking when I'll come home)
:x: tv show you've watched = prolly some cartoon
:x: person you were thinking of = Alex

DO...
:x: you have a crush on someone = no
:x: you wish you could live somewhere else = of course
:x: you think about suicide = hate to admit it but yes... may a times
:x: you believe in online dating = eh... as long as your happy with it I say go for it
:x: others find you attractive = uumm... i think so... nobody ever gives me feed back
:x: you want more piercings = not especially... maybe my belly button.. but that's too common
:x: you like cleaning = sometimes
:x: you like roller coasters = yes!
:x: you write in cursive or print = mostly print

FOR OR AGAINST...
:x: long distance relationships = uuumm... no... but from my experiences they don't work
:x: using someone = completely against
:x: suicide = against.. the bible says it's wrong even though I have thought about it... still doesn't make it right. I am human.. I make bad decisions.
:x: killing people = hahaha... umm... against
:x: teenage smoking = yuck yuck yuck
:x: driving drunk = definatley against
:x: gay/lesbian relationships = even if my religion says it's wrong.. i say if you can find someone you can be happy with for the rest of your life... more power to you!!
:x: soap operas = guilty of watching them when I'm bored

HAVE YOU...
:x: ever cried over a girl= uumm.. don't think so
:x: ever cried over a boy = what kind of a girl would i be if i didn't!!!! but WAY to many times
:x: ever lied to someone = yes
:x: ever been in a fist fight = flirting or actually made at them? flirting-yes anfry -kind of
:x: ever been arrested = no

WHAT...
:x: shampoo do you use = various ones if they are an intense moisture one
:x: shoes do you wear = sneakers and flip flops
:x: are you scared of = always being alone, bugs, ppl being mad at me... the list is endless

NUMBER...
:x: of times I have been in love?= uumm.. i thought i was once
:x: of times I have had my heart broken? = twice (neither time was I in love)
:x: of hearts I have broken? = two
:x: of boys/girls I have kissed? = 3
:x: of boys/girls I've slept with? = well... do you mean as in fall asleep during a movie (2) or slept with in the intention to have sex (none!)
:x: of guys you've obsessed over who wouldn't date you: one
:x: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?= I don't know
:x: of scars on my body? = too many to count
:x: of things in my past that I regret= good grief.. i have so many!!!

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
:x: pretty - uuummm... sometimes
:x: funny - sometimes when i act stupid
:x: hot - no
:x: friendly - yes...but I know I don't always come across that way
:x: amusing - see funny
:x: ugly - hahaha... many times
:x: loveable - uuumm... i guess so.. but apparently I am overbearing ;/
:x: caring - always!
:x: sweet - usually
:x: dorky - yes!!!

favourite:

5 letter word: candy
actor/actress: Tom Hanks / Meg Ryan
Candy: chocolate!
Cartoon: most anything on Adult Swim
Cereal: uummm.. depends on mood
Colour(s): blue, silver, black, and red
Colour nail polish: red
Least fave day: monday
Flower: red roses or stargazer lily or lily of the valley
Jello flavor: strawberry
Jewelry: don't really wear it
Special skills/talents: intuition and colorguard
Summer/Winter: both!!
Trampolines or swimming pools: swimming pools

|| Person who last.. ||

Slept in your bed: Me
Saw you cry: never saw me cry... but heard/knew: Whitney
Made you cry: Alex
You went to the movies with: Mom and sister
Yelled at you: think Alex.. but it was IM so I can't be too sure
Sent you an email: DeMolay

|| Have you ever.. ||

Said "I love you" and meant it: yes... BAD MISTAKE!!!
Gone out in public in your pajamas: yes
Kept a secret from everyone: yeah
Cried during a movie: yes
Planned your week based on the TV Guide: no
Been on stage: yes... many a times
Been to New York: YES!
Been to California: nope.. but i want to so i can visit my friend Adam
Hawaii: i wish
China: nope
Canada: nope
Europe: nope
Asia: no
South America: nope
Australia: i wish
Wished you were the opposite sex: haha... sometimes
What time is it now?: 6:44 pm
Apples or bananas?: apples
Blue or red?: red
Walmart or target?: which one is closer?
Spring or Fall?: fall
What are you gonna do after you finish this?: go to DeMolay
What was the last meal you ate?: breakfast
Are you bored?: YES... all the time
Last noise you heard?: creaking of the steps
Last smell you sniffed?: air

|| Friendship/Love ||

Do you believe in love at first sight?: nope
Do you want children one day & if so, how many? yes; one or two
Most important thing to you in a friendship is: honesty and trust

|| Other Info ||

Criminal record?: nope
Do you speak any other languages?: uuummm.. kind of: german
Last book you read: Mary Higgins Clark's Pretend You Don't See Her
Name some of your favorite things in your bedroom?: picture of me and my friends; calendar; computer; "bragging" wall; picture of roses and a piano
Worst feeling in the world: being alone
Who you love: Mom, Dad, Kathryn, Gary, Alex, Whit, Kate, Emmy, Alison, Jimmy W., Jimmy G., Steven, Michael P., Michael N., Justin T., Justin N.... the list is endless
Who you miss: Jessica, Alex (when he leaves :( )....


|| You ||

Nickname(s): Gin, G, Poohbear, Poorbaugh, Ginnster...
Initials: VRP
How old do you look?: I get vaying answers ranging from 16 to 20
How old do you act?: depends
Glasses/Contacts: contacts usually
Braces: 11 months
Do you have any pets?: Snowflake, Precious, Smokey, T.C., Momma Cat, Taz... and strays that come to the house Fluffy 1 and Fluffy 2
You get embarrassed: all the time
What makes you happy?: laughter
What upsets you?: when people are upset with me or others


|| Finish the sentence: ||

I Love to...spin my flag/rifle
I Miss...school
I Wish...my parents didn't have to move
I Hope...I can live with my sister and bro-in-law
I'm Annoyed by... too many things to count
I Am... stronger than I think (emotionally)
I Want to Be...with someone who cares
I Would Never...hate anyone
I'd Rather..be running
I Am Tired of...being alone
I Will Always be...searching for answers

Depressing thoughts

Today I was updating my calendar by writing in when my flag line practices will be, when I move into my dorm room, etc. Then I thought, I will have to have everything packed by the end of the first week in August. I have a month and a half left here in desolate L-town. I still have so much left to do... my scrapbook for DeMolay, Conclave (DeMolay), trip to Florida with my roomie, brushing up on my flag and rifle skills, write any good bye letters that I might want to write.... so much to do... and so little time left. *sigh* Stupid college... so far it's done nothing but ruin things for me.

Do you ever wish...

Do you ever wish that you could just meet Mr. Right the first time and just be done? I do. Unfortunately, life is not that easy. For the past two weeks, I was going out with this terrific guy. Lately, we have gone through our own separate little battles in life, but we were there for each other. I felt like God put us together so that we could help each other. I really started to have feelings for him and really cared about him... I wanted to do anything for him to make him happy.

But there was one problem..... college. I would be going to UGA and he would be going to Texas. Quite a distance if I say so myself. So as soon as the relationship started I knew that we would have to break up sometime before August. I just didn't know it was going to be two weeks after we hooked up. The first thing he said was "we need to talk..." That's all he had to say. Why do these conversations always have to start off that way. Yes.. the point gets across but...Anyway, we both agreed that it would be for the best. We didn't want to lead eachother on in a relationship that was doomed to be broken apart in the next month. We both shed a few tears... more me than him. I didn't think that I had gotten that attached in the past two weeks... especially when he was gone for a week on vacation. But I don't think it was that I was attached... it was the fact that I cared for him and I didn't want either of us to get hurt.

One thing is for sure.... I don't regret anything. I enjoyed every second I spent with him. I hope that since we are still good friends that he will still be able to talk to me about anything and everything.

What doesn't kill you... only makes you stronger. I'm not quite sure how this has made me stronger....

I wish my best girl friend were back from Chicago. Thankfully, my "brother" (no... not my brother-in-law) is willing to be there for me.