Ba-ba Black Sheep...

You would think that college would be different in just about every aspect.... no stupid homework checks... less drama on flag line... more friends. People would know a different me than the person I was in high school. I was determined to show people that I'm not TOO shy, pretty cool... just an all around aweseome person. Yeah... you would think....

I am Ginnie's depression. In high school I always thought of myself as the black sheep... kept to myself, didn't go out much... I was the goody-goody child that couldn't get away with crap. So much has changed... but yet so little. Does that make sense? I am Ginnie's confusion.

I always made the effort to hang out with people... I called others to see what they were up to. No one ever called me.... they would always "forget" to call me. I was always left out... guess some things don't change. I felt this the greatest when I went to my high school's football game at the dome. I made plans to hang out with my "old buddies." All of them were having a grand old time. Every time I tried to get back in the conversation.... I would be completely cut off... or just ignored.... some things never change.
On guard, I always sat by myself... or made small talk with some of the other girls.... this was not ture friendship.... just small talk that would later be forgotten in the endless cheering for the football team. There were small cliques in the guard... I guess the seniors had one... I wouldn't know.... I was never involved in anything.

Honestly.... I wonder if they would even know if I just randomly disappeared.... how long would it take them? If I just ran away... disappeared from this desolate life... who would know? I'm betting not many. There would be that empty spot on the field... would they recognize then? Would they recognize that they no longer had a ride to dinner... of which doesn't happen often cuz.. oh wait! I eat alone most of the time.

Whatever... more to come.