Bad dreams and beliefs...

Two things happened this mornings which I should recall... why I should do it on here is beyond my knowledge. Anyway...This morning around 4.30 I was awoken by horrible nightmare. I actually a few nightmares last night, but this one was more scary than the others. The dreams was... I was asleep in bed dreaming about my future life and being happy and all that when a man (who I don't know) steps up on a chair next to my loft. He preceded to whisper something to me (I have no idea what it was...); next thing I wake up (not really.. just in my dream) and right there stands this dark figure with a gleaming knife. I wake up (for real this time). Sweat rolling down my forehead, chest, and neck. What could this dream possibly mean? Next thing I know, I make the conscious effort to crawl down from my loft and lock the dead bolt (even though my door locks automatically). I crawl back into my loft trying not to wake roomie and I can't fall asleep until an hour later. What would Freud say to this kind of dream? Oh you saw something on television and you're reliving it? No, I don't have a television (yes... it is a very hard thing to do... but I manage).

The second thing of the day (so far... it's only 9AM you know). So I wake up around 8.50ish after a restless sleep (gee... wonder why that is). I look to see who is online and away and such. I like to read friends' online journals. Well, only one entry stood out to me. He started talking about religion and being a better Catholic. He said that he felt like he was straying from his beliefs. Well, I'm not sure where I place myself either. I believe in everything I say in the nicien(sp?...i'm a horrible speller... I know) creed, but there are some issues (issues are different from beliefs... in my opinion). Such as birth control...not allowed by the church by any means. Well... I hate to disappoint everyone but I'm on birth control because I have to be for medical reasons... what do you all say to that? Would you rather me bleed to death!!?? Yes.. that is right... in 8th grade when I started my period I bled for two FULL months... non-stop... heavy flow. Yeah... pain much? But I agree that if a girl uses BC for ONLY one or more reasons and one of those reasons is for just having sex with as many guys as she can... well.... that's just wrong. Sex should be a sacred thing. I have heard many people say it feels good, but honestly, do you think God would have intended it to feel good to share it with everyone? No, it is to be shared with one person and one person alone... your spouse. Next abortion... personally abortion is abortion is abortion.. etc. I mean sure I have never been raped or have become pregnant by incest (which I hope never happens), but a life is a life to me. I think a mother should love her child whether bastard or not. Now if we got into WHEN the abortion was made.... I will not go there.... I hate combining science and religion. End of story there. Don't you hate it that religion and politics have become so closely intertwined? Next.... homosexuals. I have a few friends and others I know that are gay. Some take the whole gay rights thing to a whole new level... scares me sometimes. But I will agree with my sister( no... she is not gay...she is getting married in October to a great bro-in-law) on this one.... if you can find someone in this world that you can love and be with for the rest of your life and be happy... then by golly go with it. That's all I really have to say about that. There is no changing my mind on these issues and I would appreciate it if you never brought them up with me to argue. You can merely state that you agree or disagree and if I boldly ask why? then we can start the debate.

Anyway, I do believe myself to be a Catholic. Sure I do have my faults which I usually try to work on. I curse way too much (but in the case that someone or something really pisses me off... I lose my cool). I often times don't respect my parents... which I am still working on.... I'm sure we all are. And I am sure there are a few other things I still have to work on, but have yet to realize it.