What a mixed up day it has been...

First I bomb my bio test (76 baby!!!)
Then I went downtown shopping and out to eat with Megan. That was great! I absolutely loved it!!

Now for the sad news....
Steven and I rented a few movies together and watched them. I was going to bring it up first, but he beat me to it.... the inevitable question: what's going to happen this summer and from then on?

So many thoughts, feelings, and emotions.... most of which I could hardly put into words. So many things to consider. School, school, school, more school (huh.... after typing school so many times it doesn't look right), 4 hours apart, work, work, work, distractions (each other.... not other people).

I feel like it should be so easy to say "Go for it, damn it!" or "Give it a try at least and if it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out... at least you can say you tried."

I can see both sides of the situation. I am usually a pessimist and try look at the worse outcome of everything to see how I would come out in the end if worse came to worst. But... I don't know.

I'm not angry.... in the least bit. I am sad though.... no comment on watery eyes.

I know there are a thousand reasons why we shouldn't, but there are so many reasons why we should.... I just don't want to voice those over my blog. But let's just say they are your reasons for keeping anything that is goin great going.

This sucks, we both know that.

I still want us to be friends that can hang out (in our spare time).

You have no idea how happy it made me to know that I've made you happy. (You probably don't realize it, but you made me very happy as well. I've enjoyed this past month so much.)
And I know that you didn't want to do this.. I could see it in your eyes... I could see it in your poor attempt at a smile... I could sense it from the bear hug.... I could sense it from the many kisses good night... I could sense it in your voice.

I still have that little bit of hope that you would reconsider just trying it once we get back in august.

I don't regret a single moment....