Last night...

or this morning, I was called beautiful.... not cute.... but beautiful.

Secretly that's one things that I've always wanted. One of my friends made me realize that's what every girl wants to be called. I now realize why.

What if...

Our lives are plauged by the "what if's" we ask ourselves. During times of solitude I always ask myself how my life would be different if such and such had happened. Examples:

What if I went to Berkmar HS instead of Parkview HS?
I would be gothic and probably some type of liberal arts major (that last part is debatable).
I would not have been on the flagline thus not ending up at UGA or on it's flagline.
I would still be as sarcastic as ever.
I would have never been a sweetheart in DeMolay and made some of the most memorable friends I have even today (including those at Parkview).

What if I never joined the flagline on a whim to meet new people at a new school?
I would still be at UGA, but not on the flag line.
I would be majoring in Animal Health still.

Like in my favorite poem our lives are a combination of pre-destination and free will. God does have His plan, and He tries to give you so many paths to that destiny when you fall astray. But we do have to make our own decision to take the path to ultimate happiness or the path to an alternative happiness. I'm not quite sure which path I'm on right now, but from where I stand now it looks decently smooth and happy.

Prayer time (since I won't be making it to church today... need to meet someone to get my ochem books)
Oh Gracious God,
Thank you for everything in this life that you have given me: love, friends, family, and fortune. You look after me in your flock and chase after me when I run astray. I thank you for your help and guidance in the decisions I make even though at times I may be selfish and greedy and undeserving of your help. Please forgive me. I pray that you look over those I love and care about (especially my sister). Tell my grandmother I love her and miss her very much.
Our Father and Hail Mary
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit
Amen.

This one time at band camp...

yeah yeah yeah.... I've heard it a thousand times!!

So anyway, Band camp was very hectic this year. We learned the flag work at warp speed. I tell ya, if I were a freshman this year I would have cried. The way I got through the work was because many of the moves were the same as last year.
The parties were fun... Emmy locked her keys in her car. So the guys and I made a makeshift jimmy with a wire hanger and a knife. I had one to two drinks at the parties.... nothing more than that.
Hype night was Daisy Duke... that's right. I wore short ass shorts and a white muscle tee, hair in low pigtails. It wasn't all that flattered I don't think.


Yesterday when we had the afternoon off I went to lunch with Dave (for those of you who don't know.... you'll just have to ask). And after practice was canceled we went to see "The Skeleton Key" with some of the sousaphone line. Such a good movie... scary .... but good. I think I crushed Dave's hand though :/

Classes officially started today... but for me, they don't start until tomorrow ;)
I'm supposed to have ochem lab today in the afternoon, but since they didn't meet today I didn't have to do anything. Instead I bought some of my books with the exception of ochem which a friend of mine is selling to me for a damn good price!!

Anyway, I'm gonna take a nap before practice today!
Until next time!

The perfect man 2.0.1

Ok so I'm updating my list... not by much though

- likes to cuddle
- not everything to him means something sexual
- lean (muscular) (not a nessecity... but a definite plus..hhehe)
- not a smooth talker/womanizer
- doesn't leave all the decision up to me (if I don't like something I'll let you know)
- goes to church (almost) every sunday (Being Catholic is a definite plus...)
- loyal (in any case of an emergency he will be there for me... and I for him)
- funny and makes me laugh
- even tempered
- likes to dance
- must like thunderstorms and nature
- must love animals
- athletic (likes to workout)
- understanding of my priorities (school comes first!..... usually...hehe)
- caring
- gentle (even the rough and rowdy girls need a little gentleness hehe)
- gives good massages and likes to tick backs(wow... this list is really long.... too high of standards yet!? how many of you are still in this!?)
- doesn't kiss like a dog (*snickers*)
- realizes that I can be a sensitive person and hurts easily.... but if I do something to bother, doesn't hesitate to let me know (e.g. too "clingy")
- faces their problems head on and doesn't run away
- knows how to have a good time no matter the situation
- doesn't use me as a rebound girl
- honest
- intelligent (makes me think)
- cooks (by this I mean more than just ordering pizza and boiling water for ramen noodles, but I don't expect gourmet)
- has basic manners and chivalry (walks me to my door [apartment or car], pays for dinner or a movie [unless it's my treat], etc.)
- loves the beach and mountains
- realizes that strong relationships are based on a solid friendship

prolly more still to come

Eyes Wide Open

I'm horrible at psychology... always have and always will be.

However, the subject fasciniates me. I have always wanted the ability to know who other people are just by watching them or reading something they have written... the way they talk. But I do not have that ability. If I did have this ability, I would be able to give people a direct answer when they ask questions about my personality.

One friend of mine has painted a portrait of me in a different light I believe:

you are intelligent, analytical, have not only the ability to think abstractly but also the ability to challenge that innate ability in others. You are sensitive. Sometimes too much. But you are a girl. A lot of little things make you happier than one large thing, but you wouldnt mind something nice and big happening to you sometime. You may not look organized in terms of what your room/place looks like, but you know where everything is, and you try to keep it up as well as you can when your schedule permits. You work hard now so you can play later. You think that something bad is going to happen at any moment, but you put that premonition aside with a sandwich from subway and a cup of coffee from starbucks. You know who your friends are. You also know immediately about people when you meet them within the first 5 minutes. you stereotype, but don't we all without knowing it? You value the opinions of your friends, but it never seems to make the pain of what someone else said to you go away completely. The biggest thing for you is not to make yourself happy. It is to make those you love and care about happy. Doing this hurts you more than not doing it, and you feel shattered when you cant achieve the higher standard you've set for yourself, or when people dont realize what you do for them. This is your weakness in life, but it is also your strongest virtue. It is what makes you get up each morning and face another day of trials. It is why you love life.

And all this after just reading my blog, but I guess it helps that he was my Bio TA last semester.

I envy those with this ability.

Call me vain and conceited, but I like to understand how other people see me... especially since I have a hard time seeing myself.

They say that the only one who knows me best is myself, but that's just not true....at least I don't think so.