What is going on...

I don't know.... I just don't know.

My thoughts and feelings have been fluctuating like a woman's estrogen level during menopause.... i'm hot, i'm cold, i'm angry, i'm sad, i'm frustrated, i'm depressed, i'm psuedo-happy.

I understand what's going on, but I wish I were niave enough to think it all a farce.

That will be my quote for the week.

I wish I could wish certain times of my life and certain people in my life away... they just make things harder and more complicated.

Since I've been through this type of thematic scenario before, I will endure. I won't be happy with it... but I will endure and I will survive.

I don't know why God tests me like this. I don't understand. I need to go to church more often this semester than last. I've gone astray. I'm the sheep that is lost in the pasture... the black sheep that is. I'm not hard to find, but I'm stubborn enough to keep losing myself. I know I bring some things onto myself, but this, I don't think I deserve.

I've been very patient and foreboding. I haven't criticized nor have I pushed. I think this is the best route - a few bumps and rocks, but better than the other roads. I've been loving, caring, understanding, kind... I am love - at least for the most part according to 1 Corinthians. I am not jealous.... I have nothing to be jealous of. The only thing I'm guilty of is lending a helping hand and being there to comfort a friend, a boyfriend, and a lover.

I am love. I don't know what to be other than that. It's all I've been taught.