Mini depression

I'm not sure why but I just feel depressed.... I've tried so much to make myself happy. Food, tending to my plants, drawing new plans for jewelry, loving on David...

all I get in return is... how fat I feel, swatting a bees, how much money it would cost, and pushed away because i'm being smothering.

Why am I always smothering people? Am I really that dependent? Do I really feel like I'm loosing touch with everyone in the world right now and I have to prove my love by forcing it upon someone I love?

I'm sorry to everyone I've ever smothered. I'm just a very loving person and love being loved.

It's always worse when I'm depressed and need to cling onto someone or something to keep me from sinking into the abyss of manic depression.

I really need to start running/excersising. Maybe when I get back to home (after finals) I'll start running around Kat's neighborhood before work.


Happy thoughts:
Dave and I bought a grill. It was awesome!! Our first purchase together.... he's just paying me back cuz it's "HIS" grill cuz he's "THE MAN!"
Going to see my parents tomorrow!!! I'm so excited!!
My beads came in!!! I can't wait!