Living the Single Life

Here is how I feel about my "love life right now"

(Chorus)It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken
From deep inside of me
A secret I've kept locked away
No one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show
They never go away
Like moving pictures in my head
For years and years they've played

(Bridge)If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I couldStand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave IWould(Chorus)

Sometimes I remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There would never be a past(Bridge)

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
Is so much simpler than change

(Chorys 2x)It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone


Linkin Park is right.... it is just so much easier to run. I need to be single right now. I don't need a guy right now. I've been hurt way too much. I know plenty of guys that are great and they would never hurt me intentionally....but often times it's the unintentional stuff that hurts the worst. Anyway... I don't want them to be a victim of my dark past. I just wish it would go away sometimes... too many things remind of everything and everyone (aka all my ex's). I don't want to hurt the next guy to come along... he doesn't deserve it. I don't want him to be a rebound either... he doesn't deserve that. I don't want to become involved and serious with anyone until I really know them and until I really know what I want. No more of this jumping to and fro relationships.... I'm sick of it. I (my emotions [not that I really have any left] and my heart[ not that I really have much of that either]) can't take it any more.

Why don't you guys understand this?.... this is for your own good as well as mine! Stop persuing and just be a friend.... that's all I need right now.....